Love You Through It
by Sad-Blue-Eyed-Angel 2010
Summary: The road ahead is a long uphill battle, but the recovery is worth fighting for. "We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have." Breast Cancer Awareness. Written to I'm Gonna Love You Through It by Martina McBride - written for beloved aunt who is a breast cancer survivor and fellow T-Birds fan - this is dedicated to you! OneShot


**A/N: - Written to I'm Gonna Love You Through It by Martina McBride and written for my aunt who is a two year breast cancer survivor...love you aunty and thanks for being a fellow T-Birds fan with me!**

* * *

Alan and Tin-Tin stood in the kitchen, Tin-Tin with the phone pressed to her ear. Alan stood behind her, his arms wrapped about her waist. He tightened his hold around his beloved wife's waist as he felt her stiffen, her legs give underneath her. Alan joined her on the ground as she dropped the phone. All he could hear was a small tinny voice on the other line, but the news was clear from Tin-Tin's reaction.

The test came back positive.

Holding his wife close, Alan allowed her to sob into his chest. She was only thirty-eight years old, how could this be happening to them? To her? To their family? Tightening his grip just a little bit more, Alan clenched his eyes tightly as he fought the burning tears behind his eyes. Pressing a fierce kiss against Tin-Tin's temple, Alan suppressed a sob that weighed heavily in his chest.

"I know you're afraid…I am too." Alan whispered in her ear as she sobbed openly, her pain echoing through the house. "But you're not alone. I promise, I'll be right here with you."

* * *

Handing in the paper work, Alan looked his dad hard in the eye. He knew that what he was doing would not make his dad a very happy man – but his wife and their children were more important to him. They had three young ones. Ages 13, 9 and 4. Their little Jemma, she was brave for a thirteen year old. She took over caring for her siblings for her mom and dad upon finding out the diagnoses. Then there was Chance, he took it like a man despite being only at the tender age of nine. He helped his sister out with caring for the youngest. Aliza didn't understand. She, her big brother Chance and big sister Jemma were going to stay on the island with their maternal and paternal grandfathers, uncles, aunts and cousins while Alan and Tin-Tin moved into an apartment on the mainland.

"How long do you expect you'll be gone for?" Jeff reviewed over the sick leave paper work and noticed the date of expected return was left blank.

"I don't know. As long as it takes." Alan's shoulders slumped, he was trying to be strong – but it was just becoming so hard.

"Okay…keep in touch and please keep us up to date." Jeff stamped the approval on the paperwork before placing it in the '_to file_' bin. Standing up, Jeff walked around the desk and hugged his son tightly. "If you ever need to talk, know that we're all here for you and Tin-Tin."

Alan hugged his dad back fiercely. Nodding firmly, Alan pulled away, his eyes hard with resolve.

"I know dad, thanks." Patting his dad on the back, Alan pulled away. If he and Tin-Tin didn't go they'd miss the head winds. Scott had graciously offered to take them to the mainland, see them off at their new albeit hopefully temporary apartment and return home to help his wife, brothers, their wives, his father and brother's father in law care for the children as they continued their studies on the island with their cousins.

* * *

Tin-Tin held Alan's hand tightly as they prepared to take her away to surgery. Alan found the lump in her right breast one night many months ago when they'd been preparing for sleep. He'd brought it to her attention and she'd scheduled an appointment for a mammogram and the results showed she did in fact have a lump approximately the size of a nickel. They'd had a lumpectomy test done which came back that it was positive for cancer cells. Discussing their options with the doctor, Tin-Tin decided to have just her right breast tissue removed.

With further testing, Alan and Tin-Tin discovered that it was a harsh form of cancer. The doctors feared that with just one breast being removed, it'd likely come back; maybe not now, but soon. Not liking the idea of having yet another positive test, Tin-Tin decided to have the remaining tissue removed also.

"I love you." Alan walked beside the gurney as they wheeled Tin-Tin back into the operating room. "Together we'll make it through this. No matter what, I'm gonna love you through it."

"I love you too sweetheart." Tin-Tin squeezed Alan's hand. Gazing up at him with shining brown eyes, she put on her brave face. Her man, he was her rock to lean on. "Wait for me."

"I'll always wait for you. Be brave honey, we'll get through this." Alan leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to her lips as the medical team stopped to give husband and wife a moment before spiriting her away behind doors in which he could not follow.

With eyes glistening with tears, Alan and Tin-Tin shared a warm kiss which proved to the other how much they truly loved one another. Petting her locks of hair gently, Alan waved good bye to Tin-Tin as the doors swung shut behind the surgical team.

* * *

Alan sat beside Tin-Tin's bed as she slept. The gown pooled around her waist, the bandages wrapped tightly around her chest, covering the radical surgery doctors performed to stop the progress of the cancer. Rubbing his thumb gently over the tops of her hand, Alan waited patiently for her to wake up. Not long after settling her in her room, the doctor had come in to have a word with Alan. They believe they got it all, and those were the words Alan was hoping to hear.

Unfortunately, the doctor informed the husband that he'd recommend chemo and radiation to further combat the cancer cells that may still be lying dormant in Tin-Tin's lymph nodes. Nodding his head gravely, Alan showed that he understood. Despite having gotten all the cancer, the doctors had to take more than planned.

Stepping outside of the room, Alan went to a small cell phone appropriate location to call his family. Holding the phone against his ear, Alan listened as the phone rang. When it was finally picked up, Alan had to try not to break down in tears. It just felt so hard. He was trying to be brave for Tin-Tin but with the news that was just bestowed upon him – he knows he needs a rock to lean on too.

"Alan, how's Tin-Tin?" Marci – Gordon's wife answered the phone, her soft spoken voice barely above a whisper as it was obviously after the children's bedtime.

"She's out of surgery…they…they…" Alan gave a small sniffle as he fought the want as well as the need to cry. He had to be strong…for Tin-Tin. He couldn't afford to break down. "They said…they got it all."

"Oh thank God…" Marci gave a sigh, and Alan could almost picture her pressing her hand to her heart as it raced quickly. "How is she doing dear?"

"She's still asleep, they just brought her down from recovery about an hour ago." Alan spoke softly, afraid his voice would carry through the hall and awaken his beloved.

"Go be with her Alan, she's gonna need you." Marci murmured gently. "I'll pass the word along."

"Can you give the kids a kiss good night from mom and dad for us?" Alan felt the sting of tears, but he was determined to not cry…not now – not ever.

"Certainly." Marci replied, her voice soft and gentle. "Now go be with Tin-Tin, and remember if you need to talk – we're all here for you two."

"Thank you Mar…I'd better go." Alan hung up the phone, the sting of tears pulsing behind his eyes. He had to be strong, for her.

* * *

Alan watched as Tin-Tin walked slowly around the apartment – her arms wrapped about her small frame, his t-shirt swallowing her whole. She was wearing a pale pink cancer cap to cover her head. She took to wearing pairs of his sweatpants and large socks. A frown remained on her face, as it had for the past couple of months. Smiling sadly, Alan stood up to halt her pacing.

"Honey, look at me…please." Alan wrapped his arms around her slight frame, halting her in her tracks.

"I can't…how can you stand to look at me?" Tin-Tin whispered, tears building in her eyes at her husband's embrace.

"Because you're beautiful." Alan whispered, as he squeezed his eyes closed.

"But I don't feel like a woman anymore." Tin-Tin looked down at what she no longer had and gave a sob.

"I don't care about that…all I care about is you." Alan reached around her and tilted her head back. Pressing a kiss to her lips, Alan poured all his love into it. "When we got married, our vows were 'for better, for worse, in sickness and in health'…I meant what I said when I agreed to those vows."

"I don't think I can do this anymore…" Tin-Tin pulled out of the kiss and buried her head in her hands crying heavily.

"That's what my love is for. I'm not going to give up on you…please continue the fight. I'm never gonna stop loving you." Alan hugged her from behind, and pressed a lighter kiss against the pulse point in her neck.

"Okay." Tin-Tin turned in Alan's arms, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Okay."

* * *

Alan snuck up behind Tin-Tin, holding a little black box. Opening it, Alan retrieved the little gift for her and stepped up behind her. She sat in front of the dressing table, which contained a large mirror. She was tying the scarf around her head, to block what could not be undone.

"Happy anniversary sweetheart." Alan pressed a kiss to her temple as he fastened the necklace around her neck.

Tin-Tin looked down and began fingering the pendant. A diamond heart. Turning slightly Tin-Tin looked at her dashingly handsome husband and felt the love for him grow. Smiling sadly, she tilted her head to look at him. Alan smiled down at her; the crow's feet crinkling around his eyes making him look much older than thirty-nine.

"Are you ready to go?" Alan whispered.

"Go where?" Tin-Tin was confused. They hadn't planned on doing anything for their anniversary.

"To dinner of course." Alan crouched down in front of Tin-Tin and gave her a mischievous smile.

"But…I don't have anything to wear…and I don't want anyone to see." Tin-Tin's eyes glanced down in the direction of her chemo port. She knew that Alan knew how uncomfortable people looking at it made her feel.

"Nobody will see." Alan took Tin-Tin's hand in his and pulled her up gently from her bench seat towards his armoire. Opening the door, Alan reached in and pulled out a white bag. "You can wear this. I saw this and I thought one of us had to have it…except I don't think I'd look nearly a sexy as you would in this…so who better to get this for than you?"

Tin-Tin's breath caught in her throat. It was beautiful. A lovely black dress, the neckline going high enough to disguise her port, but still be low enough to be considered a little black dress. With eyes that filled up with tears, she shook her head.

"Honey no…I can't accept this."

"Please, will you at least try it on…just for me?" Alan gave her a look that begged her to reconsider. Closing her eyes, she nodded slowly.

"Okay…" Tin-Tin reached out and took the dress from his hands. "Okay."

Stepping into the bathroom, Tin-Tin locked the door. Hanging the dress on the shower rod, Tin-Tin disrobed and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Feeling the pit in her stomach grow bigger, Tin-Tin fought tears. She didn't look beautiful…she looked affright. Stepping into the dress, Tin-Tin found that she couldn't reach the zipper, so she poked her head out of the bathroom door to get her husband's help.

"Babe, can you help me do up the dress?" Tin-Tin asked, her voice meek and timid.

She kept her back turned to Alan as he stepped up behind her and zipped up the dress. She didn't want to turn around, she was afraid she'd run off the only man that might have ever loved her.

"Sweetie, turn around please. Let me take a look at you." Alan put a reassuring hand on Tin-Tin's shoulder.

"I can't." Tin-Tin wasn't ready. She'd never be ready.

"Yes you can…please do it for me." Alan coaxed.

Tin-Tin had a feeling that she'd regret it, but she turned slowly to face Alan. Keeping her eyes closed, Tin-Tin allowed Alan the freedom of running for the hills upon first glance at her. But what startled her was the wolf whistle that had been emitted from her husband's lips.

"Damn, you look hot." Alan stepped forward and placed a hand on Tin-Tin's hip.

"No I don't." Tin-Tin refuted what Alan said. She didn't believe it herself, so how could he think so.

"Sure you do." Alan grabbed her hand, and pulled her in front of the floor length mirror. Standing just behind her, Alan pointed out all the features that he felt made the woman he fell in love with.

"How can you love me, I'm no longer whole." Tin-Tin's eyes misted at that statement.

"Because, it wasn't your breasts that attracted me to you. It was your face, your smile…your heart and your love that brought me to you. I mean, you still love me even though I'm kinda missing some essential packaging now…don't you?" Alan looked at her questioningly.

"Of course I still love you after the vasectomy…but how can you love me…I'm damaged." Tin-Tin whispered.

"Because you aren't damaged. Sure you had to have your breasts removed, but do you think that is going to stop me from loving you? No way…you are my wife and I made a promise that I'd be the rock you'd lean on and on the day of your first surgery do you remember what I said just before they wheeled you off?" Alan wrapped his arms around Tin-Tin's frame.

"I'm gonna love you though it." Tin-Tin's smiled wobbled as she felt the sting of tears.

"That's right, and that is what I'm going to do." Alan hugged Tin-Tin tightly. "Come on, we don't want to be late for our reservations."

"Where are you taking me?" Tin-Tin felt a surge of alarm. She didn't want to be seen outside of their apartment.

"Somewhere special." Alan took one of Tin-Tin's other cancer cap scarves and tied it gently about her eyes. "But you can't see where…it's a surprise."

"So how am I supposed to get there if I can't see where I'm going?" Tin-Tin clutched onto Alan's bicep.

"I'll get you there." Alan wrapped his arms around Tin-Tin and picked her up. Carrying her in his arms, he smiled as Tin-Tin grappled onto him.

* * *

Alan opened the door with his shoulder and stepped through the door before he closed the door. Looking around carefully, Alan placed Tin-Tin on the ground.

"Where are we Alan?" Tin-Tin still couldn't see, for the blindfold covered her sight.

"Somewhere special."

"Where?" Tin-Tin allowed Alan to take her by the hand and lead her over to where this special place was.

"Okay, are you ready?" Alan's voice carried a hint of a smile.

Tin-Tin remained silent. She didn't know if she was ready. But Alan removed the blindfold nonetheless and what Tin-Tin saw took her breath away.

A little table with a crisp white cloth draped over it sat in the middle of the roof. A couple of wine flutes sat perched beside a couple of crystal plates. Two chairs faced each other on either sides of the table. A stand holding a bucket of ice and a bottle of wine, stood beside the table. A trolley with a silver platter sat beside the table and of all people that could be present was Parker. He was wearing a crisp white shirt, a black jacket and black pants. He was dressed as a butler.

"Ello, mi lady Tin-Tin and Master Alan…how are you two this fine evening?"

"We're fine Parker, thanks for asking." Alan wrapped his arms around Tin-Tin and directed her to her seat which Parker pulled out for her to be seated. Once the husband and wife were seated, Parker began serving them their dinner. Alan waved him away after a bit and Parker nodded as he stepped away in order to give Alan and Tin-Tin privacy to celebrate their anniversary.

"Tin-Tin…sweetheart. I have some news for you. I think you'll be happy to hear it too." Alan reached across the table and took Tin-Tin's hand in his. "Two things in fact."

"What is it?" Tin-Tin was afraid to ask, but from Alan's smile she hoped the news wasn't too bad.

"For one, I know you wanted to take a special trip somewhere and to quote you 'somewhere special – I don't care.' Well, I have a couple of cruise tickets here in this envelope for us to go on a cruise to Italy. I have some reservations to visit a couple of wine vineyards in Italy while we're there." Alan slid the envelope of tickets across the table to Tin-Tin and he watched her graceful smile stretch across her face.

"So what's the other news?" Tin-Tin looked at Alan and prayed it wasn't bad news.

"You asked me to take the call earlier today, remember the call from the doctor?" Alan squeezed Tin-Tin's hand firmly in his. "Well, the results came back in and…they were clear. The cancer, it's in remission."

Tin-Tin's mouth hung open at the news. That wasn't what she'd been expecting.

"The doctor wants to take the port out and then we can go. So when you are ready, we can go." Alan stood up and hugged Tin-Tin tightly.

"I can't believe it." Tin-Tin whispered.

"Believe it, the doctor was certain when he told me that your cancer was caught early enough that you shouldn't suffer a reoccurrence." Alan watched as Tin-Tin sank into her seat, he knelt in front of her and took both of her hands in his. "This was the news we've been waiting to hear. I haven't told any of the family yet, because it's your news to tell."

Tin-Tin cried into her hands and Alan hugged her tightly, rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"I told you I'd love you through it, and I don't ever intend to stop." Alan pulled away to gaze at his wife lovingly. Despite her mid-back silky mahogany colored hair having fallen out from the chemo, radiation and various other medications…the weight loss and tired looking eyes Alan still saw the woman he fell in love with. His beautiful wife, the mother of his children, his Tin-Tin.

"I know. And I love you all the more for it." Tin-Tin smiled as she felt the tears well in her eyes at the news.

"I love you too." Alan took Tin-Tin's hand in his and with renewed strength she stood up and allowed Alan to lead her into the middle of the roof. Taking her hand in his, Alan began to dance. Piano music played softly and Tin-Tin turned her head to see Parker standing beside a small portable stereo. Instantly recognizing the song as hers and Alan's wedding song – one that Virgil composed at Alan's request playing over the sound system. "Happy Anniversary darling."

* * *

"Ssh! Keep it down! They're coming!" Stella – John's wife shushed everybody as they gathered in the living room of the Tracy Villa. John requested that Alan and Tin-Tin wait to come up after he'd finished his post flight checks since he'd gone and retrieved them.

"I hear them! Ssh!" Scott ducked around the corner of the wall, his fingers waiting to flip the light switch.

"Ow! Gordon, your stepping on my foot!" Virgil hissed.

"Not me, I'm over here." Gordon replied – his voice barely above a whisper.

"Sorry Uncle Virgil." Chance replied softly.

"Sorry Chance, didn't mean to get you mixed up with your oaf of an uncle." Virgil reached out and patted the now ten year old on the head.

"It's okay." Chance peeked around the corner of the couch where he was ducked down with his Aunt Janie and Uncle Virgil. "I hear my dad!"

"Ssh!"

The room became deathly quiet and the voices of Alan and Tin-Tin laughing merrily with John echoed through the hall as the elder blonde led his younger brother and sister in law up towards the living room.

"So it looks like you got some sun on those rosy cheeks of yours in that Tuscany sun." John pointed out. "You know with that blonde hair of yours you know you really should wear sunscreen given how pale your complexion is."

"Shut up John, and how exactly do you know what a complexion is after all?" Alan whined.

"I had a hand in helping you and Tin-Tin raise a lovely fourteen year old pageant queen who also loved using her cousins as her make up muses while you two were gone." John replied, his voice rumbling with laughter. "Boy…Shane and Raleigh were not happy boys with having Jemma compare their skin tones with color pallets."

"She didn't!" Tin-Tin giggled.

"She did, and she had Stella's help with that as well as Aliza, Marci, Janie and Rachel. Boy the girls had fun, I think Marci even managed to hogtie Gordon and make him sit through getting makeup put on as well. Justin and Luke made themselves scarce from their mother and cousin."

John laughed as he again pointed out how his two sons – Shane and Raleigh got dragged into a makeup fun day by their mom and cousins as well as their aunts. Luckily their uncle also got roped into it but Gordon's sons Justin and Luke obviously learned all of their dad's favorite prank hiding places for they managed to elude their cousin from the dread makeup fun day.

Coming to a stop in front of the closed living room door, Alan sent a look back at John. Obviously he suspected something was up. It was too quiet in the villa. Normally the house echoed with activity- the boys wrestling or playing in the pool, the girls giggling and trying on clothes or talking about hair designs. No, it was just too quiet. But before Alan could say anything, John opened the door and practically manhandled Tin-Tin and Alan through the door.

"CONGRATULATIONS!"

The lights in the living room flicked on and draped from the ceiling was streamer paper and balloons. In the archway at the back of the room were three banners. One read _'congratulations on going into remission Tin-Tin!'_ while the other read '_welcome home Tin-Tin & Alan!' _and lastly a banner that was hung up read '_welcome home mom and dad - we missed you!_'

Alan and Tin-Tin both laughed, their eyes welling up with tears at the warm reception of their homecoming. They'd been gone for almost a full year for Tin-Tin's treatments. Their children had been flown up to the mainland for their birthdays, but other than that the kids hadn't seen their parents nor had the rest of their family seen their beloved Alan and Tin-Tin. Nearly being bowled over by three excited balls of energy, Alan and Tin-Tin hugged them all tightly.

"Mommy! Daddy! Welcome home, we missed you!" Jemma hugged her mother tightly, afraid that if she let go of her parents they'd disappear from the room.

"We're so glad you're home Mom! Dad!" Chance cried into his dad's chest as he hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go of the man he looked up to as a hero, nor did he want to relinquish his hold of the woman he adored on a daily basis.

"Mommy! Daddy! I want a hug too!" Aliza jumped up and down to get a hug from her parents whom she hadn't seen since her fifth birthday two months prior. Then she hadn't been able to hug her mommy though simply because mommy was sick in a hospital bed and didn't have the strength to hold her head up for very long.

Alan and Tin-Tin both dropped onto their knees and enveloped their three children in their arms. They were more than ecstatic at being welcomed home the way they were…but they were also doubly happy to be coming home with some of the best news they'd received in a long time. They were in remission…not just Tin-Tin – but they as a family was in remission because since Tin-Tin was diagnosed – it was they as the Tracy family which was diagnosed also. And it was a great feeling to say that they were in remission.

"Mommy, I can't wait to show you what aunties Stella, Janie, Marci and Rachel showed me!" Jemma was smiling widely, tears shining in her hazel eyes.

"What did they show you?" Tin-Tin humored Jemma and asked her what her sisters in law taught her daughter while she was away.

"They showed me how to apply make-up and they helped me do my hair!" Jemma's smile fell slightly as she realized what she'd said. "Oh mommy, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be dear. Mommy's hair is growing back." Tin-Tin smiled gently back at Jemma before she removed her cancer cap to reveal short mahogany colored hairs growing in. Alan had nicknamed it bird fuzz because it was soft and fluffy and when the husband and wife would lay in bed together at night Alan could often be found combing his fingers through her hair – easing her off to sleep.

"Yeah, mommy will have long locks of hair for you to straighten in no time." Alan pulled out of the hug to smile at one of his precious little daughters.

Jemma smiled serenely at her dad and she wrapped her arms around both her mother and father's necks. Her little brother Chance and sister Aliza got in the group hug also as they welcomed their parents back home. Sensing a major group hug coming on, Alan opened his arms to the remainder of his family to welcome them into the hug.

"We're happy to have you two home again." Virgil hugged his little brother's back and kissed the side of Tin-Tin's head. "It just didn't feel the same without you two here."

"It's good to be home." Tin-Tin replied. She was happy and she felt proud of herself for continuing the fight and she also commended Alan on his strength. Even when the going got rough and there were times that she wanted to throw in the towel, he kept her going. He remained her rock, and for that she'd be forever thankful.

End


End file.
